11/16/07

What Is Parent Coaching?

We all know that some children are more difficult to care for well than are others.  They may be easily thrown off by changes in routine, or be prone to over-stimulation.  Some kids have trouble calming themselves down, or take everything to heart.  Other times the child is grappling with challenging problems:  a chronic condition or illness, a history of trauma or loss, or or a family member who has difficulties, for example.  Sometimes, a child just seems very different from ourselves, and a little hard to understand.

While these children may sometimes need therapy, they may not.  This is a decision that a parent should make in consultation with an experienced child therapist.  However, many of these children have temperaments which are challenging but they are basically functioning well.  Therapy may not be appropriate for them at this time.  Or, your child may be in therapy with someone else and you want some extra, practical help in handling your difficult child.

Parent coaching can offer exactly this.  It isn't therapy.  It's designed to help you figure out practical, workable solutions to the challenges that come with parenting.

How Does It Work?

This is a completely individualized program, so the work I do will be different with each family.  Sometimes I work with just one parent, other times with the couple. 

I'll help you identify the problems that are the most irksome to you or your child at present.  Together, we'll think of changes that you can make to help things go more smoothly.  This may involve things like:  thinking up new approaches to routines, learning new child management strategies, finding a way for you to get a break when you're at the end of your rope, or negotiating contracts with your spouse or children.

The kinds of specific problems I've worked with parents on addressing include:

Typically, I start out meeting with the parent(s) once a week.  This gives us enough intensity to really dig into the problems, but gives you enough time to go home, try out the new strategies, and be prepared to report back.  Later, we may meet less frequently, or you may choose to touch base with me only when things flare up.

Often, a few new techniques can make a huge difference in the life of your family.  As things start going more smoothly, you will all have more opportunities to enjoy each other.  Family life can become a renewed source of pleasure instead of a source of stress.